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Famous golf quotes, and who really said them
Most golf quotes come with a famous name attached and no evidence. These are the famous ones with their origin actually traced, which turns out to be the better story: an anonymous duffer, a telegram, and a champion giving credit to a friend.
By Morris, by Badgie Golf · Updated
The quotes, with their real origin
| The line | Usually credited to | What the record says |
|---|---|---|
| Golf is a good walk spoiled. | Mark Twain | Earliest version: The Morning Leader, London, 1897, anonymous. First tied to Twain in 1948, after his death. (Quote Investigator) |
| The harder I practice, the luckier I get. | Gary Player | Player made it famous and, in his own 1962 book, credited Jerry Barber. Versions with 'work' instead of 'practice' go back before 1900. (Quote Investigator) |
| Hit 'em hard, they'll land somewhere. | Stewart Maiden | Correct: a telegram from Maiden to Watts Gunn after a poor first round at Oakmont in 1927, recounted by Bobby Jones in his 1928 column. Advice against steering the ball. (Quote Investigator) |
| Golf: hitting a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. | Winston Churchill | Punch, 16 January 1892, 'Confessions of a Duffer', anonymous. The Churchill link first appears in a 1974 radio broadcast. (Quote Investigator) |
| I am such an idiot. | Phil Mickelson | Correct: said after the double bogey on the 72nd hole of the 2006 U.S. Open at Winged Foot, with a one-shot lead on the tee. (USGA) |
| The course needs a rest, even if the golfers don't. | Old Tom Morris | Attributed by St Andrews Links as the reason the Old Course closes on Sundays; the wording varies by telling. A paraphrase, not a verbatim record. |
What a coach does with a quote
Uses the true ones. Maiden’s telegram is the whole cure for the player who steers: stop aiming the ball, swing the club and let it land. Player’s borrowed line is the practice ethic in eight words, and it is better for being borrowed: good players collect what works. And the 1892 duffer’s definition is worth keeping for the day the game feels exactly like that. More of the game’s true stories on golf stories and golf facts.
Sources
- Quote Investigator — Golf is a good walk spoiled — 1897 Morning Leader; Twain attribution from 1948. Read 9 October 2026.
- Quote Investigator — The harder I practice, the luckier I get — Player credits Jerry Barber (1962); older versions before 1900. Read 9 October 2026.
- Quote Investigator — Hit 'em hard, they'll land somewhere — Stewart Maiden's telegram to Watts Gunn, 1927, in Bobby Jones's 1928 column. Read 9 October 2026.
- Quote Investigator — A very small ball into an even smaller hole — Punch, 16 January 1892, 'Confessions of a Duffer'; Churchill link from 1974. Read 9 October 2026.
- USGA — U.S. Open history — Mickelson at Winged Foot, 2006. Read 9 October 2026.
- St Andrews Links Trust — The Old Course's Sunday rest and Old Tom Morris. Read 9 October 2026.
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Quote questions
Who said golf is a good walk spoiled?
Not Mark Twain, as far as anyone can find. The earliest version is in The Morning Leader, London, 1897, with no author; a jockey, a novelist and William Gladstone have all been credited since. Twain's name was first attached in 1948, thirty-eight years after he died.
Who said 'the harder I practice, the luckier I get'?
Gary Player made it famous, but in a 1962 book he himself credited fellow golfer Jerry Barber, and the saying belongs to a family of 'the more I work, the luckier I get' lines that go back before 1900.
Who said 'hit 'em hard, they'll land somewhere'?
Stewart Maiden, the Scottish teacher of Bobby Jones, in a telegram to Watts Gunn after a poor first round at Oakmont in 1927, as Jones told it in his 1928 newspaper column: stop steering, swing.
Did Churchill call golf 'hitting a very small ball into an even smaller hole'?
No evidence. The definition was printed in Punch on 16 January 1892 in an anonymous piece, 'Confessions of a Duffer'. The Churchill link first appears in a 1974 radio broadcast.
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